TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

About getting out of toxic relationships. As the holidays approach, it's worth revisiting old things, especially if they cause headaches and sleepless nights, such as: toxic relationships. Toxic relationships are characterized by a distorted perception of reality and a loss of inner integrity during or after a conversation with a particular person. Everything you say is viewed in a distorted way, as if a shard of the troll's mirror from Andersen's fairy tale The Snow Queen hit the person in the eye. And you can try with the best of your conscience, but still, what you say will lose any meaning in the dialogue with this person. Clients often ask me - how can you recognize that you are really in a toxic relationship? This question cannot be answered unequivocally, but I will try to give some insight into how to recognize them. First: at some point it becomes clear that you are not being seen as a person, but some other content is being projected onto you. That is why it is so important to know, know and understand yourself, so that foreign content does not create a feeling of doubt and guilt. 2. One of the essential signs of a toxic relationship is that: No! is not perceived as a desire to take care of oneself and one's needs, but as a rejection or a natural disaster. Which, as a result, causes emotional and hysterical reactions, as well as intrigues, relationship triangles, etc. unpleasant consequences that devalue personal boundaries. 3. It should be taken into account that an injured person injures, even not specially, but to raise his self-confidence at the expense of the other. A happy and self-satisfied person will be able to respect and respect the needs and boundaries of others. 4. Being in such a relationship gives you the feeling that you are being used and for various reasons it is impossible to give up the duties imposed on you.

5. The sense of reality in the dialogues is distorted, like a crooked mirror in which one is reflected. Your words are not taken into account, as another reality, where they are questioned, discarded, as a result of which they acquire a different meaning (Gas light). 6. Boundaries are ignored or violently violated - physically, verbally, etc. 7. Emotions - anger, excitement, joy, are seen as something wrong, to be devalued and you are advised how to feel properly, how to react to significant events. 8. Whatever the situation, the other person will never take responsibility for their actions, words, behavior, but will blame some special circumstances, someone else and you, especially if you pointed out what you don't like in the given situation. Back to the topic that toxic people really don't like boundaries. Most likely, someone in their life will have violated them several times and then they will violate them to others under the influence of their complexes or negative Animus. The question is what to do?

Sometimes the most difficult, but the healthiest thing would be to leave such a relationship. Protecting your integrity - nerves, value system, inner peace and sleep. Sometimes this is not possible, so we should talk about what is definitely not the way it should be in a relationship between adults and mature people. If talking again fails, responsibility is not taken and the other side is not taken, and needs continue to be ignored, then one should also draw conclusions and take steps to avoid exposing oneself to the risk of repeated violence. When talking with a toxic person, it would be advisable to stick to one topic and not lose your line of thought, if this does happen and confusion, dissociation begins to set in and thoughts seem to disappear, then you can take a few deep breaths and exhale to return to the original the purpose of the conversation. Don't be afraid to do this over and over until you are heard. I would like to wish everyone a warm holiday together with those people who love and respect you and respect your boundaries!